Letter to Mr. Vikram Bhatt

Dear Mr. Vikram Bhatt,
If at all your interview published in "Ahmedabad Mirror"(16/03/2010), is true verbatim, then this message is for you.
The last question asked in that interview is "Will you ever get married?" and your answer says "I don't believe in marriage. It is an outdated institution and it is cracking under social pressure. Marriage is no longer even a promise of permanence. My idea of a relationship is living-in and no kids. I know there is no one out there who might want this, so I am cursed to remain single"

Your expression gives me courage to write this blog. Vikram ji, I agree with your views about the institution of marriage, but i am seriously confused. I have not been able to understand people's obsession for marriage!

Till I was twenty-five I had sane ideas of marriage but now after having some experience of partnership (personal and that of others') I have my views dissected from prevalent social norms. To some it will sound like the case of "sour grapes" . I am a female moving towards thirties and for me now experience counts .I always thought that its the convenience of people that should decide the course of their life and the way they can take up a responsibility and live to it.
I have a small confusion with the idea of live-in and no-kids. Actually one can live without a permanent partner beside him/her but I am of the opinion that single parenting can be substituted with a live in partner's help as well. It is the emotional well-being of all in the relationship which needs to be taken care of and in today's world where people have got options to cater to distance through technology, the child can very well take up these options even if the live-in relationship between two people ends. Things would certainly depend on both partner's having an understanding of the concept of family. If an adopted child can seek emotional security from a mother or father who is not a marriage partner of the custodian of the child, the child can very well get the love and a role-model of both parents; that will fulfill the child's psychological needs to a great extent.
I would add, it is ok that you think that 'live-in with no kid' is your idea of family, you possibly mean a kid due to the relationship of the two in live-in partnership.You are quite justified from the point of view of the psychological well being of such a kid and the responsibilities that are associated with it.

As for me why i would prefer live-in over marriage because the legal and social sanctions that marriage gives are not so much required for me. i would like to continue to be out of it. If I still don't find a partner and not call it a curse. at-least I would not carry a responsibility along with which I cannot be happy.

Bhatt Ji, please do not feel you are cursed to remain single. I wish you all the luck in finding a suitable partner for yourself!

Reagrds,
Ida J.

Maqbool Fida Hussain and Democratic, Secular India

I got up to put my hand directly on my laptop this morning and found a mail talking about the paintings of Maqbool Fida Hussain with the message.......

"SEE AND U WILL REALIZE BETTER HE SHUD HV BEEN DEPORTED LONG BACK.
THIS SURELY IS NOT COINCIDENCE IN THE ART
Be a judge yourself of Hussain ' s paintings below...."
Just below this message were paintings of Hussain showing a vivid contrast in paintings of Hindu Gods n Goddesses and that of Muslim Prophets, men and women, that the writer intended to bring home.
Further the message said...

"Don ' t feel shy to circulate. Atleast 10 people should know,

'HOW COWARD WE HINDUS ARE 'WE DON'T HAVE COURAGE TO PROTECT OUR SELF RESPECT."

Most of us would be least aware of the real feelings of the person who actually floated such a mail, but would just go an forwarding this mail without giving a thought.

I wrote to my class-fellow, who had forwarded me the mail,

"whatever be the coincidence in Hussain's painting, the freedom to expression thru art is ones right in the democracy of india.

our self respect does not lie in any one else's hand, its not a premise where one can enter till we allow anyone to. if u feel that these paintings are not expressing the feelings of hindus in the right manner..do not forward them any further. atleast do your bit in stopping further publicity.

do not judge anyone else's mind and put them in words of your own, let the person himself explain his own intentions. nothing will create any impression on your mind till you allow it to.

be a thinker and not a blind follower!!”

I did not receive any response from my class-mate but certainly got an answer in today's (newspaper. The TOI's 16/03/2010) editorial contained an article "Why Should We Shut Up?" that article gave a convincing example of a similar controversy that occurred over a movie in US. The way the US government held its composure during the controversy explains the true meaning of upholding democracy.( I am not commenting on what Hilda Raja has to say about Hussain and his expression through art and his Qatar citizenship in the same article)

I am not a moralist as such but can at-least think what is right for me and what is not. No one can give me a thought and ask me to accept it too. We Indians have always claimed to be democratic, our constitution in its preamble claims India to be a secular country. Definitely some Hindus might find that the paintings by Hussain are hurting their feelings. Mostly its the contrast in showing the men,women, Gods, Goddesses and Prophets in different kind of clothing and postures that is responsible for vent of such feelings from fanatics. I would just request people to see these paintings individually and see if they do not represent the mythological and real elements quite correctly. Yet if you feel your feelings are hurt please do not take it to the extent of making it an issue of "self respect of Hindus".

No expression of one's personal feeling should be so terribly misrepresented, misinterpreted and misused.